Am i borderline, bipolar or just anxiety?

Since I was young, i have been in and out of therapy. I never had many friends because people didnt want to associate with me because they thought of me as wierd. i was picked on throughout school and am now 28 years old and am experiencing the same things at work. when iw as a teenager i cut my arms up because i was angry or depressed, i never felt like and still dont feel like i can relate to the world. i preceive people as either good or bad and i can go from liking or loving someone one minute and then absolutely hating them. Someone i met an hour ago can be my best friend because they showed me attention. I cant stand seeing people smile because they make everything seem so easly while i feel like a total mess. I will go from thinking i will be a manager of the department at my job one day to feeling i will be fired the next day. I worry when there is nothing to worry about. I enjoy isolation and only enjoy being around few people who i feel comfortable with. I feel numb and in a daze at social family parties, people tell me to smile. I have a 6 month old son and i am feel self conscious talking to him and communicating with him because it feels weird. thank god i have a supportive loving family who helps me raise him. I tend to overreact to small ittle things. I feel like people dont like me. Friends I make at work tend to last for a while and then there is a turbulent event where they dont want to hang out with me anymore. I feel like people are always out to get me. No matter how much I clean my house i still feel like it is a mess and it is never clean. My mother also mentioned when I was young i would freak out when she left the house because i thought she was never coming back. I am angered very easily over what people say are petty things and i will just keep carrying on about it. I can go from being absolutely fine and functional one minute and then the rest of the day i feel like im in a daze and im numb and just plain out of it feeling extremely anxious. I have crying spells and get flashbacks of the good times when I was a kid and picture myself as a little girl and me now as an adult kissing me as a little girl trying to warn her of adulthood and the problems she/i will face. I wish i could go back in time to happier times as a kid. I am just writing down the symptoms and can someone please tell me what is wrong.